FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize