my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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