I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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