Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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