well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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