The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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