exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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