I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
high people should be assigned attendants
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
