If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
