Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
