Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
