This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
