College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
My ATM looks so different sober.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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