i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
