I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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