Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
