She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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