hotel room ftw
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
