Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
