So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
