Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
