i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
