This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
