If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
In America we eat man semen.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
