Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
