wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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