brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
