Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
