I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
