I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
The air was thick with penises
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
