Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
