EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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