giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
