I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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