Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Come see our sink grown plant.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
