whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
we're making bets on your personal life
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
