D3 body, D1 cock
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
