I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize