i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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