so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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