we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
