Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
