apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
