Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Randomize
