SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
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