Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize