but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
