all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
