Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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