i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
