Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
God I need to hump something, right now.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Come on in and take your pants off
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