Jerry, you need to find god
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
it glows. i had to have it.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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