is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
