how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
