i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
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