three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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