I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
