Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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