We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
