He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
