I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
