We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
